hello welcome back to another episode of The Dhiya talks, this is me your favorite host Dhiya. today we're going to discuss about the concept of self-compassion, its components, and the science behind why it matters. We'll also discuss how it differs from self-esteem and why self-compassion is a more sustainable source of self-worth as usual you will get points to change the way you see your self and love yourself a lot more than you used to do.
before we begin let me thank my dear listeners who tune into our podcast every Thursday to hear your weekly dose of self improvement tips and my stories related to it. I post live updates regarding episodes and my daily life in my Instagram page, so guys quickly go and follow my page there, I’ll wait……… okay the next task for you is subscribe to my newsletter where i will be sending you guys weekly updates and journals to improve your life and also freebies and discount codes.
coming back to the episode, so back in my fifth grade or so i remember my bench mate telling me that i will be a big zero if i don’t study anything and i took that personally at that time and note the point that she herself was not studious and stood behind me and the audacity she had at that time to tell it on my face. okay never mind, so after that incident i was so sad and i started to compare my level of marks to other students in my class and i started to feel insecure not because of the marks, but due to the constant comparison i did to others and it was was so exhausting. I'm not saying that i had all these vision of self comparison during my fifth grade, if the Dhiya today was the girl she was back then, she would definitely see this as the insecurities of the person who told this because that’s the way she or he is and we cant do anything and that we don’t never ever have to change to others. so i hope your notebook is still with you, the key point from this story of mine is that, the harsh things that people say to us is the reflection of themselves, their unattained dream or things in life, or maybe their insecurities which they are trying to hide or reduce by blaming other people, and there is nothing to do with us.
now lets understand what self compassion is: Self-compassion, in simple terms, is the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a dear friend. But why is it so essential, and how can it benefit our lives?
let me tell you some core components of self-compassion as developed by Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in the field. take your pen and the book to note it down otherwise you wont remember:
Self-Kindness: This is the ability to be gentle and understanding toward ourselves when we face challenges or make mistakes. Instead of berating ourselves for our shortcomings, self-kindness encourages us to offer support and comfort.
Common Humanity: Self-compassion acknowledges that suffering is a universal human experience. It reminds us that we're not alone in our struggles and that everyone encounters difficulties at some point in their lives.
Mindfulness: Mindfulness involves being aware of our thoughts and feelings without judgment. When we practice self-compassion, we're mindful of our own suffering and treat it with non-judgmental awareness.
Now, let's dive into the practical side of things. How can we cultivate self-compassion in our daily lives?
I'll share strategies and exercises that can help you develop a kinder relationship with yourself. From self-compassionate self-talk to mindfulness practices, we'll explore actionable steps to nurture self-compassion.
1. Self-Compassionate Self-Talk: Start by paying attention to your inner dialogue. Replace self-criticism and negative self-talk with kind and understanding words. Treat yourself as you would treat a close friend. When you make a mistake or face a challenge, remind yourself that it's okay; everyone makes mistakes, and you're not alone.
2. Mindfulness Meditation: Mindfulness is a powerful tool for developing self-compassion. Engage in mindfulness meditation practices that encourage you to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment. This practice helps you become more aware of your inner experiences and enables you to respond to them with kindness and self-compassion.
3. Self-Compassion Journaling: Keeping a self-compassion journal can be a transformative practice. Write down your thoughts and feelings, especially during difficult times. Then, reflect on these entries with a compassionate perspective. Ask yourself how you can offer comfort and understanding to yourself, just as you would to a friend in a similar situation.
4. Affirmations: Use self-compassion affirmations to reinforce positive self-talk. Create a list of affirmations that resonate with you and repeat them regularly. For example, "I am worthy of love and kindness," or "I forgive myself for my mistakes."
5. Self-Care Rituals: Incorporate self-care rituals into your daily routine. This could include activities like taking a warm bath, going for a walk in nature, practicing yoga, or simply spending quality time with yourself doing things that bring you joy and relaxation.
6. Seek Support: Don't hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Sharing your struggles and emotions with others can help you feel understood and less alone, reinforcing self-compassion.
7. Mindful Self-Compassion Exercises: Engage in specific self-compassion exercises, such as the "Self-Compassion Break." This involves acknowledging your suffering, recognizing that suffering is a part of the shared human experience, and offering yourself words of kindness and understanding.
8. Forgiveness: Practice self-forgiveness for past mistakes and perceived shortcomings. Understand that making mistakes is a natural part of being human, and it doesn't diminish your worth or value.
9. Set Boundaries: Part of self-compassion is learning to say no when necessary. Setting boundaries with others and prioritizing your own well-being is an act of self-compassion.
10. Gratitude: Cultivate gratitude by acknowledging the positive aspects of your life. Express gratitude for your strengths, your achievements, and the people who support you. This can help shift your focus from self-criticism to self-appreciation.
Remember that cultivating self-compassion is an ongoing journey. Be patient with yourself as you practice these strategies and exercises. Over time, you'll find that self-compassion becomes a natural and integral part of your daily life, leading to greater resilience, emotional well-being, and a kinder relationship with yourself.
Self-compassion isn't just a feel-good concept; it has tangible benefits for our mental and emotional well-being.
Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Studies have shown that individuals who practice self-compassion tend to have lower levels of stress and anxiety. By treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, we can soothe our inner turmoil and find emotional balance.
Improved Resilience: When we face setbacks, disappointments, or failures, self-compassion can be a powerful tool. It helps us bounce back more quickly, learn from our mistakes, and adapt to challenges with greater resilience.
Enhanced Emotional Well-being: Self-compassion is linked to greater emotional well-being. It allows us to acknowledge and validate our emotions without judgment. This, in turn, leads to a healthier emotional life and a greater sense of inner peace.
Better Relationships: Interestingly, self-compassion doesn't just benefit us individually; it also has a positive ripple effect on our relationships. When we're kinder to ourselves, we tend to be kinder and more understanding toward others, improving the quality of our interactions and connections.
Increased Motivation: Contrary to the misconception that self-compassion makes us complacent, it actually boosts our motivation. When we approach our goals and challenges with self-kindness, we're more likely to persevere and achieve them.
Enhanced Physical Health: There's evidence to suggest that self-compassion can have a positive impact on physical health as well. It can reduce the wear and tear on our bodies caused by chronic stress and promote overall well-being.
Improved Self-Image: Self-compassion encourages a more balanced and realistic view of oneself. It helps us move away from the extremes of self-criticism and self-inflation, leading to a healthier self-image.
As we conclude this episode on "The Art of Self-Compassion," I want to leave you with a thought: be gentle with yourself, for you are doing the best you can. Remember that self-compassion is a practice, and it's never too late to start.
Thank you for joining me on "The Dhiya Talks." If you found this episode insightful, please share it with someone who could benefit from embracing self-compassion. And, as always, remember to be kind to yourself—because you're worth it.